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Sometimes I dislike the concept of family. A group of people that you are so intrinsically linked to that you would die for them. It hurts.
My family is so, odd. When you get married, you don't think "oh, hey, this is just a practice run." You don't really expect to have a second family after your first.
I saw Suzanne and Eric at my birthday party in October. This is Eric's second family. This is the second time he's met his wife's family, second time he's showed off their first born kid. This isn't new to him. Does that make it any less special?
If asked, the answer will always be no. But it is different. That can't be denied.
I wonder how much longer everything will last. And what is in future.
I've been wearing my grandfather's cadet ring a lot recently. It makes me think about the type of person he was. The person that I will never know. I got to spend thirteen years with him, but I don't know him. You never really know a person.
I wonder if I'll always be second. I was grandpa's. Or if that's not the case. Maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way. I'm not second. This isn't Eric's second family. I'm late. Eric was late.
I wonder if I'll always be late. Arriving at, ultimately, the right time, but later than everyone else.
I wonder what I'll miss.
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My mother doesn't have a favorite season. That struck me as odd. I've always known that my favorite season is fall. Always. Just known it.
We were driving back from Kohls this morning down Fairway and all the trees were so pretty, and I asked her what her favorite season was, and after receiving silence I added "unless you don't have one". She thought about it some more and said "I guess I don't have one", silence, "maybe spring, everything is so green. Which is about as much as you can expect from her when she doesn't have a strong opinion.
I'm so much like her its unnerving.
I need to do homework now.
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“I don’t love you David”
“I don’t love you either, but I think I could like having you around.”
Quote from Muriel's Wedding
Picture stolen from Lynn K
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There is a very good chance that I have already posted this quote, I feel as if I have. But I love it so, it's prophetic for these times--with people denying that the holocaust ever happened. The Holocaust keeps showing up in my life lately, especially the liberation of the camps. Just in places where I never really expect it. I learned today that there is a Ukrainian Holocaust survivor that lives in here in Reno.
Anyways, some background information: Eisenhower was the Supreme Commander of the Allied forces in Europe, and helped to liberate the concentration camps. In 1953 he was elected president. The first time I saw this quote was at Boston Holocaust memorial (pictures stolen shamelessly off of google under the cut). And this, combined with the other quotes and visual power of the glass tower, was so sobering.
So here is it, the quote that has been stuck in my head all day:
"I felt it my duty to be in a position from then on to testify at first hand about these things in case there ever grew up at home the belief or assumption that the stories of Nazi brutality were just propaganda."
-President Eisenhower
It can never seem to form coherent thoughts. Just half formed shadows of consciousness. I suppose that all you really need. There's stuff I want to say, but I just can't find the words.
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"You could've turned the gun into steam, the bullets into mercury, the bottle into goddamned snowflakes but you didn't, did you? "
love love LOVE the comedian.
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